Investigation of Playfulness Report

My investigation into playfulness was, well, fun! It began on my birthday, and I reclaimed my right to enjoy and celebrate me. I began to discover how delicious it is to slowly savor each activity, or non-activity. (hmmm, the next investigation?) I then asked to be shown obstacles that keep me from being playful. This is a great question no matter what the prayer or investigation is, as it invites unhealed, unintegrated moments from earlier in your life to arise. Not long after I dropped the question in, I was triggered in a way that brought me to my knees. Rather than reacting to the trigger and lashing out at the person who triggered me, I took the feelings into my heart and sat with them. What I realized is the triggered feelings were the exact feelings I had as a child when I was being bullied, or not believed. Wow, what a gift! I was given the opportunity to heal a part of myself that I might not have gotten to in any other way. I spent the next couple of days with my young child and loved her in a way she was not loved when the neighbors were telling her to eat sand, or not believing something she said. I asked her what she needed, I told her she had a right to have fun, to play, and asked her what she wanted to do. So we colored, jumped rope, and put blue and purple streaks in our hair. As the days went on, I discovered that playfulness took on a new energy. I could be serious and playful at the same time. All of the old stories came up to be witnessed and surrendered. Being playful did not mean I was lazy or unproductive. Rather the opposite was true. When I did things with a playful attitude, they happened effortlessly. When I was playful I was present. My newly integrated child selves were feeling safe. Playfulness is my new way of being. It allows me to meet my life with curiosity. I am particularly liking my playful energy without all of the stories I had about playing, the shoulds and should nots. I am rediscovering what it means to be surprised and delighted. I invite you too to investigate your own playful nature.