Still Waters Run Deep

I have not posted here regularly for a while. That does not mean that nothing has been happening, quite the contrary. Things have been happening on a deep level. Do you know what it feels like when you think nothing is happening in your life? Sometimes it feels like you are stuck and sometimes it feels like you are in a rut, and sometimes it feels like absolutely nothing is happening. If you are continuing to do your inner work, tending to soul, putting your prayers on the altar, movement is there, you just might not be aware of it at the time. That is what was happening with me. In the last year or so I have done a deep dive into nurturing myself in body, mind and spirit, without attachement to outcome, without expectation of what this might look like. My practices during this time were many and varied, I used many of the tools in my medicine bag including Samyama, the Ho'opponopono Prayer, monthly novenas, collage making, voice dialog, doing nothing, etc. I began to emerge from this time of Stillness several months ago with some new juicy opportunities arising. There was and is a newness to my spirit, there is a new awareness of my relationship with Leah. Peter and I are moving into a new chapter in our relationship. Dan and I are planning our next adventure. I was ready to step into this newness, and then the gate keepers came knocking, big time. I spent some time with them, and found myself in a waiting game. Waiting for what? That is the million dollar question, there is nothing for me to wait for, I can be me now, I am me now, the stories I spin are quite amusing sometimes, and it took someone telling me I was in a rut to recognize just that, yeah I was. At the same time I also recognized that I have done the work to step out of that rut. Step into a soulful life, a life lived consciously, embodied, willing to meet the gate keepers with gratitude and move beyond the fear they stir. I have tremendous gratitude for the mystery and the unknown that are always at work, even when we are not aware.