The Gift of Time and Space

While I had thought that Dan and I would only be living apart for about 6 weeks, reality is that is will be more like more like 4 months. For a while I was not liking that, and being grumpy about it and living 'temporarily'. This was not serving me however, I was feeling horrible physically, and not attending to myself, just biding time until we were back to 'normal'. I was so miserable that I decided to sit with these feelings and find out what was going on here. And I had some revelations, this time and space alone is providing the opportunity for both Dan and me to process things we could not have processed had we been together. We have been given the gift of space and time to just be with our stuff. As I emerged from my stupor, the message I received was this, 'Be grateful for exactly where you are' And so I am. I am grateful for the opportunity to meet myself in a way that is only possible when I am by myself. I am grateful to be given the gift of sleeping in my own bed and making meals for myself, and learning that yes, I can make wonderful meals just for me. I am learning how to take care of myself, by myself. Each week when one of us leaves to go back to our respective 'home' I am meeting an old wound of abandonment, and I am sitting with the feelings as they are. I noticed this past week, they were not as strong, just a little tug that shifted when I allowed it to be there and felt it. I am learning in a new way to be scrupulously present to each moment. Everything I need is in that moment. I am grateful for the silence and the space to once again remember these lessons.