Samyama and the Driver's Test

I have been in Raleigh on vacation since Thursday. Yes, on vacation at home. It has been filled with many opportunities to meet parts of myself. The most powerful came last Thursday and Friday when I went to get my North Carolina driver's license. Yes, I have been here over 2 years as a permanent resident (over 4 years total) and I still had my Maryland license. We picked up a rules of the road to study a couple of months ago. We studied a little, but not a whole lot. We went to the MVA Thursday morning. I immediately felt the same way I did every time I took a test. I did not pass the test. I was horrified, and all the stories came, how I did not test well, how the questions were tricky, etc, etc. I also thought at the same time what a wonderful opportunity it was to be having this type of experience in the space I am currently living (internally) So I stayed with the feelings of inadequacy, of terror, and just let them all come in each moment. I also went home to study. I really wanted to put it all off until Monday. Instead I brought to mind how I would feel after the test was over and I passed, and I allowed myself to feel it as fully as I could, and I studied some more. The next morning I got up and went back to the MVA. I sat down and opened the book again and I again felt the terror, and felt myself freezing up, so I closed the book and got back into my heart, I invoked all the helpers I could think of, including healed and whole ancestors who have passed driver's tests. As my number was called, I felt a little calmer. I sat down to give my preliminary information, and I heard (in my head) 'there is no reason for you to feel such terror' It sounded like good advice, I witnessed it and said, 'But terror is what I feel, and I am going to feel it,.' So I did. At that moment I also told the little girl who was feeling the terror that she did not have to take the test, I would take it. I stayed in my heart and I kept feeling the terror. All this while, the guy inputting my information seemed to indicate he was having 'trouble' getting it to send to a computer. I was given the time I needed to feel what was in the moment. If I had told my self over and over that I should not feel that way, I would have missed the feelings that came up in the moment that needed healing. I marveled at how I was given exactly what I needed by a simple life task. (but not until the test was over.) I took the test, and yes, I passed. I stood in line for my picture, and yes I felt exactly the way I imagined I would feel after the test. So I took the picture for my new license, and I should note, it now has the same hair color as I do! (can you hear that story??) In the days that have passed, I have noticed that this little girl does not have the same level of terror, I did heal and integrate a part of myself. Everything I needed was there as long as I was present to receive it. That is my wish for every one this season, Presence to receive the gift.